Thoughts & Musings
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Thoughts & Musings
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How can you let yourself get
that way?
(said
to me all too frequently by my father.)
If I knew that, I wouldn't be
this way! So sorry my presence offends you.
Gosh I'm really not sure,
care to tell me?
I just woke up one morning
and......
When I find out how I got
this way you'll be the first to know!
Guess the fat fairy came to
see me in the night!
Oh my God, look at that fat
slob.
This was said to my husband
when I went to visit him at work.
His reply, "That's my
wife." How I hurt for him.
And why is it ok for the
old folks to just come right out and stare at you or question you about your
weight? What's the deal on that?
What do you do, roll her in
flour and aim for the wet places?
No snappy reply to this, it
stunned my husband. Nearly ended a friendship too.
Do you know what you look
like? (also
said to me all too frequently by my father.)
No, thanks for pointing it
out to me.
When I get naked to shower I
never look!
Why no, I don't! Do you mean
I don't look like Christie Brinkley?
Mommy, why is that lady so
fat? Why is your belly so big?
Who says kids are innocent,
they can be cruel without meaning to.
These comments from children
hurt just as bad. I'm 6 years postop
and still intimidated by
kids.
How can you stand being like
that? or How can you let yourself get that way?
Gee, I don't know, why don't
you tell me?
I can stand like this...sit
like this...and exist like this!
(but that doesn't mean I have
to like it!)
I had a stranger come up to
me at Wal-Mart parking lot to tell me about a new diet, and received weight
loss diets in the mail with anonymous notes that say "Sue you should try
this."
THINGS I HATED TO DO, BECAUSE I COULD NO
LONGER DO THEM THE NORMAL WAY
Pump gas. Not that I minded doing that.
What I couldn't do was get out of the van, walk into the store, pay, pump the
gas and then go back for my change. I'd be wheezing and puffing for 20
minutes after that effort. I would actually leave money on the pump if it
took less then the full amount I had paid.
Go through a turnstile. I avoided these at
all costs. One time at a sporting event, the guard moved the whole turnstile
so I could go through. How very embarrassing. I always looked for the
handicapped gates to go through. And at that I knew they were thinking that I
wasn't even handicapped, just fat.
Squeeze past people.
Anywhere anyhow. This could be at a restaurant, a theater or in a line. My backside or belly
bumping into them, sometimes pushing them off balance or worse, knocking them
over. Listening to them b*tch about me as I went by. .
Use the handicapped stall in
the restroom. This
was even worse when someone with a wheelchair or a walker was waiting. The
regular stalls were too small and the toilets too low for me. And of course,
people look at you. Nuff said.
Unload the car. I could go grocery shopping and
even get the groceries to the car because I could push the shopping basket.
But I couldn't get the groceries in the house. My solution was to drag in the
perishables and leave the rest till my husband got home. Then I would sit at
the table while he put everything away.
Sit to cook. Oh how I hated this, but it hurt
my back so much to stand at the stove so if anything required stirring or
constant attention I would drag the chair over.
Washing dishes or doing
laundry. I was bent
over at the sink to wash dishes due to the pain in my back. My shirt would be
drenched by the time I was done because my belly was pressing into the sink
the whole time. Doing the laundry wasn't bad, but hanging the wash out or
taking it off the line hurt like hell due to my constant back pain when
standing.
Sleeping This was a funny thing. The
worse my depression got the more I wanted to sleep. Problem was the pain.
Sleep shouldn't hurt, but mine sure did. I could only sleep on my side so as
a result my back, hips or knees would start screaming in pain at the injustice
of being in one position for hours. I had no trouble getting to sleep. Who
would after hauling 500 pounds around all day. I would have to get up to take
a pain pill to sleep. How I hated that! At this time I was sleeping about 10
hours a night. Now I only need about 6 hours. Not to mention that due to my
size, my bladder couldn't hold a lot, so I'd have to get up to pee every one
to two hours. No such thing as a good nights rest.
Go to the hairdresser. This was always a
little scary. First, would I fit in the chair at the washing sink. And what
would happen if they tried to raise up the chair? The cape barely covered me,
and I swear the chair groaned when they would try to spin it around. And
then again, there was the comments of the other customers in the shop.
Going to any new place out of
my comfort zone. I
avoided any new situation. If there was a social gathering with the people my
husband worked with, I wouldn't go. I didn't want to embarrass him. I was
the invisible wife. People didn't believe I existed. New restaurants were
tough as I didn't know if they would have chairs without sides. If I was
protected by my posse (family or friends) I'd be ok. But alone anything new
was out of the question.
Going to the doctor of
course! It goes
without saying that any time I went to the doctor I was setting myself up for
a lecture on how I should lose weight. When I had a miscarriage my GYN
lectured me on my obesity and wouldn't let me go home till I talked with a
nutritionist. I had to deal with that crap when I was mourning the loss of a
very much wanted baby.
Having my blood pressure
taken When the
little skinny nurse would say, "Oh" and go get the large cuff. That wouldn't
fit, and she'd shout into the hallway, "Where is the thigh cuff?" Then when
she finally came in with it, would pump with one hand, then the other, then
both hands. At this point I was lucky if she had pumped it up to 80, my arm
would be numb. They would try to pump it to at least 200 (thinking since I
was obese I must have high blood pressure) and sometimes they would have
someone else pump the cuff. Needless to say, then my BP would be up!
This is used with permission from the original poster...Denise. Thanks!!
I'm not aware of any set carb rules and I think most of us have eventually sort of just worked out for our self what does work and
what doesn't work...I'll share some of my own personal rules about carbs and
what I based my own rules on.
How to "measure food" easily -- go to discount store and buy those fake Tupperware 4 oz containers -- use them for your dish or
your "holding" container and it is auto-measured
based on the size of the dish. Example, take out 4
oz container, fill it up with grapes and let yourself know that you can eat it all at once or you can spread it over a
couple of days...your choice.
I do believe the most important RULE that we all should learn is moderation -- nothing is going to hurt us more than
gluttony (besides the emotional pain -- physical
pain comes with too much of anything.) We should try
to balance our chosen diets and have some of everything but
the difference now is we try to get the most healthy foods in first and
if we have room left we can have a few grapes, a
couple of slices of apple or all the pickles in the
world you want (dill, no sugars) a "non" food
though.
Get your protein in first... if you are "starving" make yourself drink a protein shake FIRST, wait 20 minutes and see how starving
you are then...then make the food choices when you are NOT
starving. Don't make food choices when you
are really hungry... most of us don't choose wise if we are
really hungry. If you use the 4 oz
containers with lids you can store leftovers for meals
the next day ~smile~ If you made some yummy mashed potato's then taste
1 bite -- the 5th bite will taste the same as the
first bite so all you need is the first bite to
check on the taste right? DO NOT do that when your
hungry... do it after you've eaten your healthy choices and are full.
For me, if I am "craving" a bad food choice -- and the craving won't go away I might as well eat some
of it AFTER I am full... the cravings for me seem to
NOT go away but only get worse if I deny myself that food totally --so --
after you eat and your full... have some of what you are craving and
it will usually be plenty to make that craving go away.
I have no basis for what I just shared that "I" do for me -- most all my choices are heart healthy
because my heart is my issue health wise but I also
want to be balanced so I choose from the balanced choices of heart healthy choice stuff. Do
I screw up (see posts from May-Aug this past year) can I fix it if I pick up
my tool and use it? (see posts from end of Aug-Dec this year) No one is perfect but we can make things as
easy as possible for ourselves.
1. Hair loss happens, get over
it!
2. Absolute strangers WILL ask
how much you weigh and want to see your scar. And what's worse......You'll
show em!
3. Sooner or later, at the
worst possible time in the worst possible place, you will have to vomit, and
it won't be pretty!
4. The honeymoon period rocks!
Take advantage of it to learn your limits and re-establish your relationship
with food and yourself.
5. The honeymoon period ends.
And life continues on and we face some of the same struggles we did before.
You may need to restrict your eating from time to time if you see you are
gaining weight.
6. PLATEAUS ARE NORMAL!
PLATEAUS HAPPEN!
PLATEAUS EXIST FOR A REASON!
7. You can't compare yourself
and your weight loss to anyone else! You won't lose as much or as fast as
________, or you will lose faster than _______.
8. Don't count on dumping to
help you with your weight loss! Not everyone dumps.
9. You will get support and
praise from the most unexpected people at the most unexpected times and ways.
10. IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!!!
This is borrowed from a great site which is unfortunately down. LeShane's WLS Journal. t's a very funny and informative site, and her observations ring oh so true.
This pretty much sums up my
first few months experiences:
My Top Ten Tidbits of Wisdom at 2 1/2
months post op
or what I have learned so far
since surgery through vast amounts of trial and error...not necessarily in order...
10. Don't forget your spoon!
9. Right after surgery you can
become as hopelessly marooned as Gilligan in a recliner..never let the phone
out of your hands or be left alone for too long!
8. Despite my non stop pre op
freak outs, I was way more relaxed the day of surgery than I ever was any time
prior to it.
7. Murphy's Law of WLS...if you
ate it yesterday and it stayed down fine there is no reason to believe that it
will stay down the next time you try it.
6. Murphy's law of WLS #2...If
you must vomit in a public restroom, it will always be full of other people.
5. The day after you say "WOW,
I'm not losing any hair!" you will start to shed like a Siberian Husky at the
equator.
4. Drink your water & then buy
a truckload of Charmin...if you get inyour full 64 ounces a day your also
going to be putting out at least 64 ounces a day.
3. The chewy octopus sushi is
NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!
2. My thighs are going to stick
around for the journey to a new me but my breasts are already headin' south.
AND....drum roll please.....The
Number one thing I have learned since WLS...
1. NEVER ask your significant
other for suggestions of things you can put in your mouth besides food unless
you REALLY want the obvious answer!
How to outeat your surgery.
You can beat this or any weight loss surgery. If you want to regain weight
then I would suggest you do the following:
(c) Eat your food rapidly so that you don't get that full feeling. Remember,
feeling full -- or satiety -- takes a while to register, so if you eat rapidly
you can stuff a lot more in then if you eat a bit
slower and feel full with less (e) Graze throughout the day -- eat a little bit all the time and you will find that no matter what operation, even a duodenal switch -- you can gain weight. (f) Gulp down liquids, don't sip-- but gulp them down -- it will force the food out of a pouch (for RNY, lap band, VBG) and you can eat more.
from Dr. Terry Simpson
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