Is This for Me?

Making a Decision
When was the last time you shopped in a regular clothing store, like Mervyns, Target, Kohls?
When was the last time you wore size 8 underpants?
Do you have more than 1 belt in your drawer that you have never worn?
Can you shower in the communal room at the local health club?
Can you swim? Do you? With normal sized people?
Could you take an aerobics class and stay to the end?
When was the last time you rode a roller coaster?
When you fly, do you have to ask for a seat belt extension?
Does your car seat belt cut you across your neck?
When was the last time you could wear "one size fits most?"
When you go upstairs, does your heart pound until you think it's going to jump out of your chest? Does it hurt?
Can you climb a flight of stairs without pain in your knees? Two flights? How many times do you stop to breath? Are you sweating and heart pounding at the top of the stairs?
Have you ever looked longingly at people using scooters in Walmart?
When was the last time you went to the beach?
In a bathing suit? To swim? And not thought people were looking at you?
Do you buy your clothes in a department store, or is Lane Bryan, Dress Barn Woman, Fashion Bug Plus, and Roman's the stores you go to?
When was the last time you had on sexy underwear?
Is your neck bigger than most people's heads?
Is your leg bigger than most people's waists?Have you run out of diet solutions, having tried every one of them in the past, only to fail?
If you had a medical emergency, would the paramedics have to struggle to get you into the rescue vehicle?
Could they perform CPR on you, or because of your fat, would they have to use paddles?
Have you ever cried because of you are overweight?Have you ever lost a partner or spouse because you are overweight?
Have you ever lost a job because you are overweight?
Have you ever been denied a job or promotion because of your size?
Have you ever gone into therapy for weight related problems like depression or sexual dysfunction?
Was the therapist overweight and struggling, or was he/she normal weight, with no idea what you were going through?
Have you ever been in therapy, only to find that you're listening more to the therapist's problems than yours?
Have you ever taken more than one prescription drug for weight control?
If there were a fire in your building and you were on the fifth floor, would you be able to go down the stairs in less than three minutes?
Do you have health problems related to overweight
-- like diabetes, arthritis, knee or hip joint pain, heart palpitations, irregular heart beat, etc,
Do you think (or hope) a thyroid pill will help all your problems?
Can you look at yourself naked in the mirror, or do you avert your eyes?
When was the last time someone other than your partner/husband/wife/children told you that you were beautiful? Pretty? Pleasingly plump?
Any compliment about your appearance at all? Lately?
Can you still fit behind the wheel of a car without pushing the seat way, way back?
Would you consider it dangerous to ride with a driver who can't reach the pedals?
Can you reach them easily?
Do the seats in your chairs and sofas have indentations where you sit?
Do you crush the seat cushions when you sit?
Has anyone ever asked you not to sit on a chair?
Do you understand that it is because you might break it?
When was the last time you tied your shoes without sitting down?
Do you ever call your husband/wife/children to help tie your shoes?
Does your shoe wardrobe consist mostly of slip-ins?
If you were asked to go sailing, could you?
Does your greatest night out (date) consist of an "all you can eat" restaurant?
Can you fit comfortably in the seats at your local theater?
Can you slide easily into a booth at a restaurant?
Can you clean yourself thoroughly after normal bodily functions?
Can you sit without your knees bowing out to the side?
When was the last time you crossed your legs?
Do you ever wonder where the beauty and joy went?
When was the last time you DIDN'T wear queen/king size?
Have children ever been afraid of you? What about your grandchildren?
Do they run to hug you, or do they hang back?
Did you ever consider that it might be because your weight frightens them?
Do you want to be there when your children have grandchildren?
Do you want to be able to play with them, really play with them?
Could you buy a fancy, beautiful mother-of-the-bride dress, and be comfortable in it?
Would you look gorgeous in it?
When was the last time you could cuddle a child IN YOUR LAP?
Has your son or daughter had to fight a kid because they called you fatty?
If your child were your size, would you be okay with it, or would you do whatever you could to help him/her achieve a normal weight? Including surgery?
If so, why not you? Don't you deserve what your child deserves?
Do you fear the surgery? If you do, do you also fear:
Heart attack? (At your weight, you probably won't make it
Amputation? (It's in the cards)
Kidney failure? (Wait It's coming)
Stroke? (Reduced blood flow in overweight people & high blood pressure it's a probability)
A wheelchair existence? ('Nuff said)
A really short life span? (Almost guaranteed)

NOT SUCCESSFUL: In those patients surveyed who were not classified as successful, an absence of at least one or more of the six successful habits was found. The most common was lack of exercise, poorly balanced meals, constant grazing and snacking, and drinking carbonated beverages. In the entire number of patients surveyed, including those who have gained back part of their weight, 97% of patients viewed their gastric bypass as a success. The first postoperative year is a critical time that MUST be dedicated to changing old behavior and forming new lifelong habits. By identifying these six common habits of the most successful long-term gastric bypass patients, the doctors established specific guidelines for new patients to implement. (Received July 2, 1998)

Are you considering surgery? Then consider your current pain:
Do you suffer when you cannot play with your children or grandchildren?
Do you suffer when others taunt you?
Do you suffer when you have to order clothing from a catalog and face the fact that the clothing is ugly and costs 2-3 times more than "normal" clothing?
Do you suffer when you cannot buy shoes because your feet are too wide?
Do you suffer because you cannot ride on an airplane or drive a car any longer?
Do you suffer because you are too heavy to ride carnival rides?
Do you suffer when friends do not invite you out any more because they know that you can no longer participate in their favorite activities?
DO you suffer when you order the largest meal on the menu and then go home for a snack to fill up?
Do you suffer when you are denied a job, not because you aren't educated enough or don't have the skills but simply because you are obese?
Do you suffer every time someone tells you that you "Just need to diet, you have such a pretty face"?
Do you suffer as a single person who may never find a spouse because of your weight?
Do you suffer when there are things you want to do but you don't have the energy to do them?
Do you suffer from a lack of energy that prevents you from keeping your house clean and causes you to become a hermit?
Do you suffer when friends want to come over and you are too embarrassed to let them?
Do you suffer at night when you sleep on a broken down mattress because you cannot afford to replace it every 2-3 years and your weight destroys it?
Do you suffer when you have to wear a bathing suit? or even warm weather clothing like shorts because of your self-image?
Do you suffer because non of your friends or family can understand why you are so fat?
Do you suffer when you get winded chasing your kids or going up stairs? Do you feel as if you might have a heart attack?

And your fears:
Are you scared when you get short of breath after only a few stairs?
Are you scared because you are 20-30% more likely to die than a person who is not obese?
Are you scared that you will not live to see your child graduate from high school, college, or get married?
Are you scared that you will leave your spouse all alone to raise your kids in just a few years?
Are you scared that Diabetes will steal your vision or one of your limbs?
Are you scared that high blood pressure will steal your vision or cause a debilitating stroke?
Are you scared when you have to strain to tie your shoes or hook your bra?
Are you scared when getting dressed in the morning is exertion enough to make you sweat?
Are you scared because no one will offer you life insurance? Or at least not at a premium you can afford.
Are you scared of losing your spouse when you can no longer do the things you once loved? (like sports or outdoor activities?)
Are you scared of losing your partner because you can no longer make love around "the stomach"?
Are you scared that you will lose your spouse because they have to do your share of the household chores because you don't have the energy to anymore?
Are you scared when your child says" Mommy (or Daddy) I want to live with you forever!" because you know at this rate you won't last another 10 years?
Are you scared every time you go to the doctor's office, wondering what bad news they might have for you?
Are you scared that you might have a heart attack ( or a second/ third/ forth ) heart attack

Do you enjoy going through life with this pain and fear everyday? DO you REALLY enjoy your life day in and day out, can you say you have a quality of life you are satisfied with at your current weight?
Are you living life to the fullest or just working to make the money to pay the rent and buy the food and go to work .....because my friends that is NOT life.
So when you are asking those of us who are post-op if it was worth it, ask yourself if it impossible that the short amount of pain and suffering you will go through for this surgery can possibly equal the amount of pain and suffering you have already endured as an obese person

Then let me add, yes, it is worth it.
Personally, the day of the surgery I had pain so bad I told the nurse I wanted to die (really) but I ended up going home with Tylenol only and never using it. That was the end of my surgical pain.
My husband, got an infection and spent from June 25 to September 18 in the hospital and rehab. He came home with some life long disabilities. He says it was worth it. He would rather be here and disabled than dead. And I would rather spend extra time doing things for my husband than have all that time freed up to visit him in the cemetery.
Our co-morbidities were life-threatening. We gambled the possibility of death for a shot at a longer life. We both WON. Any amount of pain and suffering we had post-operatively pale in comparison with the pain that we felt over the many years as obese children and adults. We may be unique, but I don't think so, I think many of the obese people here on OSSG shared these fears and pain before our surgery. For most of us, surgery means you are trading many years of fear and pain for a week or two of fear and pain followed by a better quality of life.